On Friday night I left work to meet Tomas and Hutch
at a bar, the first time I've been out drinking since
starting the new diet. I bought records on the way,
because I have a problem. I cheated to the tune of
two beers, but had really needed it, as the stress
of getting UGO's
CES feature had made the workweek a total hell.
Tomas and I talked about Zapata
shutting down the Word and Charged websites so I got
a FTP password to rescue my stuff before it's gone
forever. Hutch showed up with her friend Lea who told
a very amusing story. Here it is, paraphrased a bit:
I was just starting to go through puberty, I got really
freaked out about my nipples.
They were developing all weird and hanging down strangely
and I was really sensitive about them. On Thanksgiving,
when all of the family was assembled in the house,
I was wearing a white shirt and they looked so bad
I started crying and ran to my room. For some reason,
my grandmother was the one sent to try to calm me
down, so she stood outside my door, knocking and trying
to talk to me.
said 'Lea, what's wrong? Why are you crying?'
English isn't so good, so what came out next could
be attributed to that. She said 'Are you crying because
nobody likes you?'
that, I started crying even more. That didn't deter
her, though, as she kept asking me question after
question along the same lines. 'Are you crying because
'Are you crying because your hair looks bad?' And
I just kept crying and crying."
was an awesome story.
I went home and called A. and we talked for a bit
and then I crashed out in bed, a beer-fueled slumber
filling me with sweet joy.
next morning, I woke up and headed off to my PO box,
where I got the new issue of the
Stranger, a Christmas card from my old
genius school, and another envelope of craziness
from the Burchette Brothers. I bought a bunch of magazines
for A. to look at for design ideas and for me to send
Of Evil press releases out to. I'm trying to drive
more traffic to the site to stave off the collapse
of the Internet.
I got over to A's house and discovered that the hideous
amount of design work she had to do for the weekend
had evaporated into air, leaving us three days of
total freedom to account for. I muddled around for
awhile until A. sprang on me her secret plan - to
check out the robot
exhibit at the Brooklyn
Museum. Duh! We took the train down. I had never
been to the BAM and neither had A. but we liked it
a lot. The robots were cool. The whole museum is really
homey and not very imposing, which is a good thing
for a museum. We saw the robots and I bought a book,
then we explored the rest of the museum.
went for some disappointing vegetarian food and then
saw our friends Jerk Alert play. Neither of us were
drinking so it was a tough call and the opening band
were horrible in a way that I've rarely seen so we
absconded to the Megatouch
machine to play sex trivia. Ass soundly kicked.
next day we slept in, luxuriating in the epic pleasure
of doing absolutely nothing. I didn't leave the house
all day - A. had a hair appointment, and while she
was out I listened to Puffy
Mustaphas 3 while doing some drawing. I checked
out the beta site for Plastic
which rapidly grew to embrace me.
got home and I went to get us some dinner, so I guess
I did leave the house. I came back with a delicious
roast chicken and steamed broccoli, and we watched
an absolutely hideous and amazing video
of a death metal band playing at a home for retarded
next day I left, because A. had band practice and
I needed to get some errands done. I went home to
check on the moving, which is proceeding a little
slower than I would like, but enough to calm me down
a little bit, and then I took off to buy a bath mat,
shower curtain, coat hangers and other general household
crap. I also bought some books - I was trying to find
an online bookstore that would let me link to them
and maybe earn a penny or two if you bought them,
but both Amazon and Barnes & Noble are totally
fucked up in that regard. Is it that hard to program
a goddamned form, you idiots? I bought the Neal
Pollack book from McSweeneys
and the new Michael Chabon.
I went home and watched wrestling,
wrote some articles,
read the Pollack
and went to bed.