I went to a rock & roll show Saturday night and since
I didn't do much else this weekend except lay in the
sun and complain here is what I thought of it.
Gorman used to be in Belly and he was all like "I
was in an alt-rock band and we had one hit and now
I'm taking my acoustic singer-songwriter act on the
road" and I didn't even want to dignify that with
a response so I sat at the bar and drank.
Mooney Suzuki were a "rock band" in that they "stole"
all their "riffs" from "better" "songs" and I really
didn't think you could make the idea of the Make-Up
even worse but YEAH! The singer was wearing sunglasses
because he couldn't stop winking at the audience and
it's a shame they don't have a keyboard player as
I'm sure they're missing out on a lot of very lucrative
mall and specialty restaurant openings in Bergen County.
coined a new term for the guys I always see at shows:
"turtles." You know what I'm talking about, the skinny,
watery guys with the shag hair going down their neck
in the perfect bowl, they always have their head tilted
back and their mouths open. There were a lot of turtles
I was waiting I also coined another phrase: "lonely
neck." That's when you crane your neck around looking
for people you know so much that it hurts at the end
of the evening. I used this phrase to make new friends.
this asian cowgirl woman came on and sang some songs
but I didn't catch her name because she had a very
weird way of enunciating. She had a really pretty
voice but her songs were way too long and her guitar
playing was way too remedial and she was drowned out
by the crowd's hubbub. She only played three songs.
the Beachwood Sparks played and it was pretty great
except the vocals were all distorted and when you're
singing the pretty-boy high-voice it doesn't do you
any good to have a soundman who just wants to get
home to heroin and Judge Judy. They played all their
songs and then they played "Wake Up, Little Suzy"
and for a brief moment I wasn't a fat kid wearing
a nice shirt in a room full of people who didn't care
whether I lived or died, I had been magically transported
back in time to the invention of rock & roll and to
the invention of beer, two events which I believe
occured concomittantly. But a moment's just a moment,
and then they stopped playing and I went home.