| Attribute | Squirrel | Jensen | Winner |
| Height | Approx. 10" | 5'9" | Jensen |
| Weight | Approx. 7 lb. | 161 lb. | Squirrel |
| Eyesight | Keen | Poor | Squirrel |
| Lifespan | 8-12 years | 68-72 years | Jensen |
| Mating frequency | 2 times/year | .67 times/year | Squirrel |
| Fur coverage | Entire body | Top of head only | Squirrel |
| Touslability | High | Medium | Squirrel |
| Tendency to bite | High | Medium | Jensen |
| Cuteness (general) | Extremely high | Low | Squirrel |
| HTML skills | Unknown | Low | Jensen |
| Total | 6 | 4 | Squirrel |