GIRLFRIEND?!?!" I said. "What about your MOM, who's
in the HOSPITAL?"
calm down, youngster," he said, "I'll take good care
of my mom, but this whole thing just took so long
that I've gotta go pick up my girlfriend from work
or she'll be really mad at me. Don't you worry, youngster."
when I started to realize that I'd severely fucked
do we get to Aurora from here, youngster?"
it got worse. Aurora Avenue North is the depressing,
motels-and-hookers strip of Seattle, and now we were
heading there in my Mom's stolen car to pick up this
guy's girlfriend. Oy.
gonna want to take the tunnel by Seattle Center -
turn here," I said.
this point I just wanted to make this as easy on myself
as possible.So we started driving north on Aurora,
smooth jazz on the radio, me looking out the window
for police officers or anybody who might be able to
help me here. We pulled into the parking lot of the
Aloha Motor Lodge, and the guy hopped out.
god," I thought, "his girlfriend 'works' at a motel?"
thought about trying to drive out of there - he had
left the keys in the ignition. If I could get the
car started in time, I might be able to drive home
down Aurora without causing a grisly automobile accident.
But probably not.
came running out of the lobby and climbed back into
youngster - as a joke, I told my girlfriend that this
is my car. So if she asks, just tell her that this
is my car, OK?"
nodded my head sadly.
might wanna get in the back seat."
climbed into the back seat as his girlfriend came
walking out of the motel. All of my worries about
her being a prostitute were instantly dispelled, as
she was one of the ugliest women I have ever seen
in my life. She climbed into the passenger seat and
her boyfriend started the car.
she said, "I'm hungry. Can we stop at McDonalds and
get something to eat?"
Brenda, no problem," he said. So now they had names,
at least; Jimmy and Brenda.
leaned over as he was pulling out of the parking lot
on the busy streetand began loudly and wetly kissing
Brenda. She tried to fend him off with cries of "Jimmy,
watch where you're driving! Pay attention!"
he said, "don't you tell me how to drive my new car!"
ain't your car, it's that boy in the back seat's!"
way, Brenda, this is my car! I bought it today!"
then what's all that stuff on the floor?" referring
to my Mom's Boeing training manuals.
that all came with the car. You wanna go to Burger
King or what?"
we took off down into the Ranier Valley, the closest
thing Seattle has to a ghetto. Jimmy pulled the car
into the drive-through and ordered some food.
"You want anything, youngster?"
we drove off with Burger King food, Jimmy eating and
driving, occasionally stopping to make out with Brenda
at a red light or in traffic.
"Jimmy," Brenda said, "now I gotta go to Pay-N-Save
to get my hair stuff, okay?"
that's when I lost it.
I yelled. "What about your MOM, who's in the HOSPITAL?
What about the INSURANCE PAPERS? What about jumpstarting
my God, Jimmy," Brenda cried, "your mom's in the hospital?"
no, no," Jimmy explained, "she's just some lady I
call my mom."
fell back in the seat, defeated.
here, youngster. I'm gonna go to Harborview right
now, and then once I drop off these papers, I'll take
you right home. You've done me a big favor, youngster,
and my family will never forget it."
sure, whatever," I said. I didn't care.
we drove over Seattle's First Hill neighborhood and
parked in a lot outside an apartment complex. Jimmy
and Brenda got out, leaving the keys in the ignition.
I waited until they were out of sight and climbed
in the driver's seat. It took me about five minutes
to start the car, but eventually I drove out of the
lot. I figured out how to get home without taking
the freeway, driving slowly under the bridges through
the Industrial district, and made it home, where I
locked all the doors and collapsed on the couch.