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009: Toodle Pip
English people try to nail Amber a lot, too - I think she represents something they can never have. Tan,
blonde, carefree and beautiful must seem like a ray of sunshine to the average rotten-toothed Brit sitting in
his room drinking and looking for love. This guy was Amber's first Englishman and I was frantically racking my
brain for as many British cliche expressions as I could think of. I got a lot in before he went away.
benj6590: hey wot's up? your pic makes u look so sexy!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It's not just the pic!
benj6590: wot?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am sexy in real life! Are you english?
benj6590: u bet! r u?
benj6590: i bet u are very sexy!!!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, I am from san diego!
benj6590: i wish u lived in england b/c i would love to go out with u!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sorry! How do you know I would go out with u?
benj6590: i don't know but if u didn't i would still love to go out with u!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What, would you rape me?
benj6590: no
benj6590: i would love you!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you would force me to go out with you? Are you a stalker?
benj6590: no i wouldn't force u, no i'm not a stalker
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are freaking me out
benj6590: i'm not that sort of guy
benj6590: y am i freaking u out?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Because you are talking about how you love me, you don't even know me!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: We haven't even cybered yet.
benj6590: wot?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: We haven't even cybered yet.
benj6590: wot is cybered?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Cyber sexual intercourse!
benj6590: do u want 2?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Toodle pip bloody right!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Let's have English cyber sex!
benj6590: oh yes please
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You start, old chap!
benj6590: i would love to kiss your neck
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Righto! Kiss away, old bean!
benj6590: do u mind this foreplay or shall we get down to the real stuff darling?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I like the foreplay, chum! Keep it up!
benj6590: shall we keep it as english cyber sex or just do anything?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am just trying to make you comfortable. Would you like to drink tea out of my vagina?
benj6590: if it would suit you?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are the englishman. Keep going, you are making me bloody horny.
benj6590: i may be english but i can be an animal!!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Rowr! So be a British animal!
benj6590: let me rip your clothes to pieces and bite your breast!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, bloody hell! Yes, you Cockney cocksman!
benj6590: let my tongue fondle in your vagina
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Fondle in my fanny, guv'na!
benj6590: now baby, do you want it up the fanny or up your arse?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Since you are a poofter, you'd better put it in my arse.
benj6590: wot!!
benj6590: y do u call me a poofter?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sorry, guvna, please keep going!
benj6590: which is more enjoyable?
benj6590: A 4 arse, or F 4 fanny?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do not speak in code, blighter! Are you going to roger me or wot?
benj6590: yes
benj6590: lets go
benj6590: YES
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Cheerio!
benj6590: COME ON
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Roger me ahoy!
benj6590: LET ME RIDE U BABY
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Ride me like a bloody stallion, mate!
benj6590: GIVE IT HARD!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am giving it to you hard! My cock is right up your arse!
benj6590: WOT COCK?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am ramming you up your arse! I am uphill gardening!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oooh, blighty! You are the best British queer I have ever stuck it to!
benj6590: I'M NOT QUEER
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I am rogering you up the arse with my cock! Only queer blokes get shagged up the arse!
benj6590: LET ME GET MY COCK IN YOUR MOUTH
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, no, matey. I'm too busy sticking it up in you to do that fag shit.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Uh! I am about to squirt in your tight English ass!
benj6590: IF U R GOIN TO BE LIKE THIS MAYBE WE SHOULD END THIS AND START IT FOR REAL!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, you want to really take my dick in your ass? I'll fly out to England today!
benj6590: YES
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You can't suck it, though, because your rotten English teeth disgust me.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Wow, I guess my Mom was right - every man in Britan is queer.
benj6590: WELL LET ME FUCK YOUR MOM!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: She's dead.
benj6590: WHO CARES?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you're not just a poofter, you're a necrophile as well?
benj6590: WELL FUCK OFF THEN!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, no. I haven't finished doing my business with you yet.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I still have to squirt a load in your butthole.
benj6590: fuck off
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Uh! Uh! Uh! You British tossers have such loose arseholes.
benj6590: fuck out of it then!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, I'm fucking IN it, old chap! Uh! Uh! Uh! Feels bloody good! And it's all bloody, too!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, I am about to explode with pleasure!
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