THE LORD REX FEAR STORY
What follows are a selection of posts and responses from the Livejournal of Reid H. Cooper, AKA "Lord Rexington Fear." None have been edited in any way. The events referred to in the first missive from Mr. Hasselberger were as follows: When Mr. hasselberger got up to use the bathroom, Rexington leaned over to Cheese's girlfriend and made an incredibly gross attempt to pick her up with lines like "Man, I don't know what you're doing with Cheese, 'cause you are smokin!" This continued until Cheese returned from the bathroom. Any additional questions may be issued to K. Thor Jensen
First post, by Lord Rex Fear
Current mood: In an attempt for relaxation
Current music: Neurotica - Stars In My Eyes
For the Historical Record...
You do not need to know the history behind all this. I just felt I would post the following communications between myself and Cheese Hasselberger for the record of my life...
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Original Message
From: Cheese Hasselberger
To: Lord Rexington Fear (Reid H. Cooper)
Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2002 1:04 PM
Subject: Re: Hey, I was at last nights JAM
Your behavior last night towards my lady friend not only disrespected her, but even more so me. I can take a joke better then 99.999999% of the people on the planet, but the fact that you waited until I got up to say those things speaks to your intentions as not being humorous, but malicious in nature... at the very least idiotic. In the past I have not taken complaints from others about your behavior seriously, now I have to. Please consider yourself persona non grata next month.
cheese
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My first response:
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Cheese-
I was COMPLIMENTING your friend and saying that she was an attractive women, I don't know WHAT she heard, but they were complete compliments in jesting way and that is all. In regards to your persona non grata comment, you can't stop me from going anywhere I hope you realize, but I won't waste my time going there if this is the way your mind obviously works. The fact that you actually e-mailed me about this is just f'n ridiculous on my part. Plus, to call me malicious or idiotic or at least my comments to be, is just asinine, because I not only spoke to your women but just once, but was not even in a pressure mood. I don't know what you are trying to clarify here on your statement "In the past I have not taken complaints from others about your behavior seriously, now I have to.", because it has always been my opinion that if someone has a problem with me they should address me. I am not a scary human being, nor am I vicious, malicious, idiotic, crazy, rude or any of these various evil conceptions on purpose. If someone is an overtly sensitive person, and I find that anyone is overtly sensitive and in "underground" comics they better get the hell out of it, because the best of the world of that world is a dark, rude, licentious, sadistic, sarcastic world in which people confront in each other and say what is on their mind.
I completely respect your "persona non grata" concept, although I feel it is unwarranted, as well as expeditious.
I would LOVE to know what "complaints" have been made in my behalf, because they are NOT complaints until the person being complained about knows such complaints exist! It will also assist me in knowing who I should no longer waste my time and energy on, which both are not given without thought, appreciation and various other factors.
Also in this e-mail you used very little etiquette. You
1.) Did not put a proper subject line but just hit a reply to an e-mail that was months old.
2.) You did not address me. This is still a letter and you are to address someone, even in disrespect.
Hopefully you will actually read this. I do not expect you to reply, but if you do, that would be excellent. I believe that you are a talented person, and hope that House of Twelve is successful in their ventures, but I am not sure with this attitude and perceptions that you will definitely be able to.
I'd like to finish by saying that we were in a bar, we all were drinking (and although you did not see me drink at the bar, I had three bottles of sparkling wine before coming downtown and was much "wasted") and that your female friend is extremely attractive and that my comments were in play and not in hurt.
Sincerely-
Reid Harris Cooper (Lord Rexington Fear)
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And finally his response, with my response done in a commentary form back to him:
{PLEASE NOTE: CHEESE'S EMAIL IS IN BOLD, REXINGTON'S COMMENTS IN PLAIN TEXT}
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Please do not waste your time responding to this...
----- Original Message -----
From: Cheese Hasselberger
To: Lord Rexington Fear (Reid H. Cooper)
Sent: Friday, July 12, 2002 11:57 AM
Subject: Re: In response to your recent e-mail...
Lord Whatever -
It isn't Whatever... It's Rexington Fear, I have performed around the city with this name and I am known in poetry and literary groups by this name, it is not a whim...it's just a name...but in this case, the proper way to of addressed me was as Reid, since you actually do know me as that...
She complained to me. Personally I'm about as sensitive a ball-peen hammer and I have no problem with your telling her she's attractive, I think it was the way you said it that insulted her, stunned the others at the table and motivated me. Here's a little suggestion about TACT from a girl cartoonist, "NOTHING pisses a girl off faster than the whole "bagging on her boyfriend/crush when he's not around" bit. Not only does it disrespect the object of her affection, it insults her by suggesting she's not intelligent or judicious enough to make a smart choice of a partner...Like HE's some catch!?!"
If I actually was giving a shit about her reaction who knows what I may of said, I was not in any attempt to pick her up, nor would I ever. I can only guess the "girl cartoonist" is Jenny. I don't need suggestions on how to treat women, I treat women just fine if I feel I have to, just like I treat anyone just right if I have to. So in regards to the whole insulting your friend situation, it was not meant to attack you, her or anyone else, and they can continue to think whatever they like, but I KNOW the truth and since I am the one being attacked, it is the ONLY truth that matters.
While I won't name names, I will forward you some of the complaints.
And I quote:
"Well, aside from trash-talking his host, creeping out curious passers-by and bringing down the vibe by contributing absolutely nothing worthwhile art-wise, I was pretty miffed by the way he contaminated the jam pool with no less than three of his sketchbooks, which I thought was pretty parasitical. We don't do this for that fucker's own personal amusement. "
contaminated? I saw people drawing in my sketchpads and enjoying themselves. The art-wise comment can be surmised. My style is an appreciated taste, but to say that I contributed nothing worthwhile is just
a sad person's response. My plan for all the sketchbooks was to scan them in and send them to YOU for the website when my scanner is actually back up. Right now I don't plan to probably take my energy with that based on the people of this crowd's opinions.
"He smells like vomit."
As undignified as this is, I will NOT dignify it with a return insult but a comment. Someone needs to go to a ear, nose and mouth doctor and have their olfactory senses checked... I work in culinary and have extremely trained nose from both wine and cooking
"His presence adds a general malaise to the evening, like an illness that befalls the entire crowd. He's the star-fucker of New York comicdom."
THIS makes absolutely NO fucking sense. Star-fucker? I don't have sex with anyone in the comic world, nor would I deem to...I can also take the statement that this person thinks I am a groupie. HA...I laugh at that statement, when I am personal close acquaintances with many important people in this industry and could go and get them to write nice glowing reports about me I just feel a need to do this to that statement. "Guffaw, haha, hehehe, oh make me laugh with stupidity, HA"
"He's an absolute idiot, and only worth acknowledging for the amount of time it takes to tell him to shove off."
Not even worth examining...seriously...
"it might be worth mentioning that we didn't "confront him to his face" out of politeness...."Etiquette" if you will....after all the jams are egalitarian in spirit, open to one and all, and the idea of violating that spirit is distasteful to the participants. But that peckerhead crossed one line too many, so for the health of the jams he's getting a unanimously > decided-upon boot. What a loathsome piggy."
once again, I laugh at the stupidity of the comment and unnecessary use of language and retardation.
And none of these are from me.
This is from me, "Commodo Lambo Meus Pilosus Inguen."
And that is Latin I would assume, which I'm sorry Cheese, is just stupid and pitiful.
How's that for etiquette?
It isn't, is what it is, it is just pure stupidity. I am glad to be excused from this crowd of people if they are so low on the totem pole of rational thinking and intelligence.
I have one really HARSH statement I could make here to finalize this entire "argument", "diatribe" "idiotic waste of time" on both our parts, but I will not, I will only finalize it with this.
A good day to you and with any luck If any of you are at SPX I will be able to pass you by without even a knowing glance so as not to expend my energy.
With great pity,
Reid Harris Cooper
Using the public commentary feature of Livejournal, I posted the following in response to the above exchange:
Response by: Kthor
Just heard about this yesterday. Jesus Mary and Joseph are you a fucking
loaf of nonsense. You talk shit about someone behind their back, sleaze up
to his ladyfriend and then act like you're the one hurt and wronged? Christ,
you can take your "three bottles of sparkling wine" and cram them up your
asshole. I'm pretty glad I missed the night in question as I've had other
exposures to you nuzzling up to the laaaaadies in your inimitable creepoid
fashion and it's not pleasant to watch. And then you make the whole mess
public in your livejournal when you could have sucked it up like a man. Poor
widdle Wexington, acts like an asshole in public and then gets hurt up
because people don't want him around. Just because you were at a bar and
people were drinking doesn't excuse what I heard from several witnesses was
utterly unconscionable behavior. Here's the choo choo clue train, Cooper:
NOBODY WANTS YOU AROUND. Everybody talks shit about you behind your back
because you are DIS FUCKING GUSTING. You're a fucking social leech, Reid,
you've got not an iota of talent or charm and it's basically through sheer
politeness that people put up with you. We were doing the same until you
crossed yet another line and even a bunch of drunks couldn't take your
EXTREME STYLINGS anymore.
And you do fucking reek, boss, I don't care how
much cumin you toss on yourself, you smell like a slaughterhouse floor. And
you're going on "dates" with a 17 year old, that's just another page in your
chronicle of LONELY.
Response to Kthor's response by: lordrexfear
K. you're a ugly motehrfucker, seriously, you are. You're just an ugly
motherfucker. You're opinion is worth shit. I laugh at you and your "indie"
career, LAUGH! You weren't fuckng there, plus, there was no fucking need to
even respond to this. As it said, it was for the record... that's all it
was. YOU,of all people, have NO place to even TALK to me. Go eat it. That is
all. Go eat it! You're pitful, you're lazy and you better not even pay
notice of me at SPX or you will discover wehat happens when I punch someone
in the face. The fact that weeks, weeks later you even bother to fucking
respond to this and then actuallyu atke the time to read my LJ and actually
feel you have any right to say anything to me or about my life when within
months from now I'll be doing better with my life than you will ever hope
to... well, that's all. And because I have the power too, I am not ghoing to
give you the opportunity to respond this. Good bye... K. Thor... fuck, I
can't believe your parents actually gave you the middle name Thor, I hope
it's pseudonym, because if not... well... yah.
and who teh fuck is this "we"? Huh? Who is this fucking "WE"? You are you...
You are anyone but YOU! Dion't fucking talk for anyone else, fucker, don't
come back and list names either, fucker, because you and your opinions are
shit to me, you understand me? Shit. You don't know a fucking thing... you
really don't and it is sad that you think you do. Good day!
Lord Rex Fear then deletes Kthor's message so nobody can read it and bans him from posting in his journal. Other individuals who have been exposed to Lord Rex Fear take up the slack as follows.
Response by: vapidhandsome
I guess it's pretty hard to type when you're sobbing and howling like an
enormous pasty lardy oily pedophile baby, but it is sort of a neat
stream-of-consciousness narrative. Congratulations on finally writing
something that brings joy to other people.
GO EAT IT! GO! NOW! HURRY! EAT IT!
Response by: indigopurple
Dion't fucking talk for anyone else, fucker, don't come back and list names
either, fucker, because you and your opinions are shit to me, you understand
me?
Oh, Magna MATER, you huge hysterical upside-down custard cake of a man!
Goodness GRACIOUS - first, I mean, you've banned Thor, so TEE HEE I guess he
can't really reply, yeah? TUFF STUFF. How old were you when your mom finally
tugged you sobbing and screaming from her poor weary teats? JESUS, you're a
disgusting fat faggot, and the world is less beautiful because of you. Are
you PROUD of that shit? YOU MAKE NEW YORK A WORSE PLACE TO LIVE. You will
never do anything that will make others happy, and I hope a giant angry
negro soon ends your fruity waltz with a syringe full of AIDsy blood.
Response by: indigopurple
Oh, yeah, I forgot: EAT IT! FUCKER! EAT IT! THAT'S ALL! JUST EAT! IT! FUCKER
EAT IT! Dude, you're a hilariously bad writer. Is English your second
language, or do you pop a lot of MDMA? Oh oh oh, and re your restaurant: I
do hope your finely trained nose is up to the task of snuffling around bins
of cookies and choosing only the FINEST from Nabisco. How utterly HAUTE.
Here's hoping you fail!
Response by: gadreel
Oh my, since we're all getting things off our collective chests, I'd like to
add that everyone really does in fact think you are piece of slime. K. Thor
happened to be the first to come right out and tell you this, resulting in
your blubbery response and his banning. What's next on the agenda? Call your
17 year old child/girlfriend on your mom's telephone and trick her into
thinking she can't get any better than a fat slob with no talent and extra
skin? Dear Christ, I'd love to see you attempt to punch anyone in the face
and not have a stroke from the effort. Have a nice time at the next bar full
of patrons that hate your buttery ass. I must run along now and GO EAT IT!
Relayed post for JSP
Response by: shmibbon
Dear Sir: In the interest of maintaining a world in which children may run
free and unfettered by cares, concerns or woes, I must take this opportunity
to ask that you kindly take the following course of action:
First and foremost, for the sake of safety, remove your twig and berries (I
am fairly certain that you should be able to find them with a minimum of
rummaging) with a rusty hacksaw. This, as I'm sure you can imagine, will be
to ensure that no passing legless women fall onto your dong and get preggers
before they can skitter away.
This would see to it that you are promptly Baqua-Shocked out of the gene
pool, which I'm sure anything with even a hint of estrogen in its body would
understand and appreciate. The rusty hacksaw part is not necessary,
admittedly, but I ask that you do it anyway because the thought gives me a
big shiny boner.
Next, please make a hard copy of every piece of art your doughy hands have
ever scrawled, every note of "music" you have ever made the effort to
compose, every poem you have ever cranked out and basically every creative
undertaking your life has yielded thus far. CD or floppy, it doesn't really
matter. Paper is best for the writings and drawings.
Then burn them. Put them in a big fucking barrel and burn them until they
are ashes. This is not as poetic as one might like, but it is direct and to
the point, and I am taking no chances.
Finally, once all of this is done, I request that you settle any and all
personal affairs, and then put on some comfortable clothes and walk into any
shadowy area of town and pay (amount negotiable) some rangy, heavy-browed
niggers to beat seven shades of long stringy shit out of you until you die
from it.
With baseball bats, ideally.
Yrs,
JSP
"Lord Rexington" then disables all comments in his journal so no dissenting voices can be heard over his piggy din and posts this:
Lord Rexington Fear (lordrexfear) wrote,
Current mood: I was excited, now pissed... :(
Current music: Far Too Jones - Shame & Her Sister
Got Dreams, Dreams to Remember...
After the unexpected happenings of yesterday, today is very quiet. I didn't
have any trouble when I went to sleep, but I did have some wondrous,
amazing, lovely dreams of running through Elysian fields, holding hands,
rollicking around in fields, those kind of images are the ones that are
filtered into my brain based on recent events. The running through fields
brings such a smile to my face. When I woke up I was just lying on my bed
with largest smile, it was... not weird, but different, and this feeling is
what I'm sure lots of you think it is. It's more complicated than that and
most possibly better suited to the situation and my current life position.
It was nice though, so nice.
and with those lovely thoughts out for pondering.
and now fuck, I have to get stupid fucking e-mail. K. Thor Jensen can go to
hell, you better not even try to make any type of contact with me in any
fashion ever again, seriously, I am the calmest fellow you may find, but
when it comes to this entire situation and anyone who decides to attach
themselves to it are persona non grata and then therefore ending up in a
morgue if they even try to talk to about it and its involvement in my life,
because it seriously will never affect my life again, this is to be the last
I hear of it and I hear anyone talking about in September, they'll find out
what a person who keeps his anger in check all the time does when that anger
in unleashed.
To quote Robert Bruce Banner "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when
I'm angry!" and yes... I become The Hulk.
To save myself from this e-mail and it invading my mind I shall go and
continue with lovely thoughts of MoMo and my wonderful life.
Comics this week
Exiles #16
Spider Girl #50
Weasel #5 (finally!)
The Path #5
Ruse #10
Zendra Vol. 2 #2
Big Daddy Danger #0
Thundercats #0
Lab Rats #5
Now to go off and let off some steam while I think happy thoughts.
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