THE LORD REX FEAR STORY PART 3

I recently drew a portrait of Lord Rexington Fear to sell on eBay, knowing that his adventures had brought laughter to the hearts of millions. Here's the portrait:

It was purchased for $24 by Mr. Danny Hellman. Recently, Mr. Hellman recieved this email:

Subject: You spent $24 on a drawing that doesn't even look like me?!
Date: Mon, 16 Dec 2002 16:37:48 -0500

Danny-

Decided to google Lord Rexington Fear and found the ebay auction. The drawing is actually not good. I don't mean it's a bad drawing, Kthor can draw, it just doesn't look REMOTELY like me. The mustache, the hair, the eyes, the nose, everything is off completely, even the patch on my chest.

And you spent $24 on it?!?!

Just found it weird you would do actually do this and at least not tell me about it. What's the deal? Did you think I'd get angry? No... the truth is, I am scared by such obsession that K. Thor has... I had no clue this was still going on, I stopped caring after SPX and then I do a simple search on my stage name and find this shit... sad & scary, sad & scary and also... strange... he hates me so much, and yet he takes the time to draw me, write about me and supposdley my name is mentioned by these guys still when I never even think about them. Busy too much with hanging at Bowery Poetry Club and pursuing my name and career.

So... what's the deal?

Best-
Reid Harris Cooper

DANNY HELLMAN'S RESPONSE

lord fear----

The deal is: ever since that incident last September when you brandished your huge bowie knife in front of our table at SPX, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. In the daytime, my mind wanders from my duties, and I find myself drawn back towards that electrifying moment in Bethesda. At night, my dreams are a never-ending sex-rumpus starring your knife-wielding self as the male lead.

Once I saw K. Thor's drawing, I knew I had to have it; at $24 it was a bargain, (I was prepared to spend hundreds, if necessary). The only drawback about the picture is that K.Thor left the knife out, which is kind of a disappointment, since the knife plays a big role in my obsessive homoerotic fantasies.

So that's the deal; thanks for asking, and in future, please stop cyberstalking my eBay purchases.

----hellman
LORD FEAR'S RESPONSE

Subject: I am shocked at you, completely and utterly SHOCKED!
Date: Mon, 16 Dec 2002 20:29:48 -0500

Wow, I never knew you had such a wrongness in your thinking. This conception of yours is not even remotely funny in any way sense of fashion.

And I guess you didn't even actually READ my e-mail.

I googled (googling is when you type someone's name in google.com to see what webistes it produces in a search) my own performance name... and the e-bay link came up, so I clicked on it, to see what the hell it was, cause it just said e-bay abnd my name in the link description. So you're cyberstalking concept is so laughable.

I am still laughing my ass off over K. Thor's claims that I stalked him, he stalked me, created lies and continued speaking about it for months after. My knife had no purpose or design for K. Thor, the twio were not connected in any fashion. You can think all you want that my tiny little kitchen performance knife had anything to do with Cheese or K. Thor, but they do not, never have and never will. K. Thor supposdley, I'm not sure about this, but continued to post to his own web board, written about me in his journal and from what I can see from typing Lord Rexington Fear into google still has a website up dedicated to me. The search was made & found in seeing if anyone had done any URBANA (a weekly reading series) reviews based on my performances.

It is K. Thor who did the drawing AFTER the con where I uttered not one word to him and could of, I saw him at the table and purposely ignored both Cheese and K. Thor. It is he who still (according to Livejournal friends of mine who truly surf LJ that told me) is going on and on about something I had dropped.

Your response to this e-mail just proves to me your true colors. I am very shocked by this Danny. I thought better of you, I really did. Now I see I was wrong, I hope your goal was to lose a fan cause you've done this.

I can't be a fan of someone who has homoerotic fantasies of me, it just scares the hell out of me. You scare the hell out of me. Good luck with those fantasies, you're going to need it.

SINCERELY,
Reid Harris Cooper (not Lord Fear)

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