Two Years  

It's been two years today since I started this thing. Four hundred and twenty-seven updates, by my admittedly drunken late-night count. I thought, when I started this thing, that when I eventually finished I'd be able to look back at this like a faceted photograph of myself, each update forming a tiny pixel of some kind of 4-D rendering of myself, some way to fully understand and encapsulate what I had been for the last two years. And what, upon reading it all again, sitting at the computer and drinking beer and spending an evening traveling in time, have I learned? I learned that you can dredge up a lot of old ground in two years. I learned that some wounds never heal. I learned that just because you think you can play guitar doesn't mean you can. I learned that not having a job is like having a job without the vending machines. I learned that everybody's been somewhere that I've been. I learned gray trainyards and vomit-soaked bars. I learned that I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever worked before if I'm going to not wind up a hideous disappointment. I learned that being in love's easy if you don't think about it too much. I learned that blue type on a black background can carry you farther than all the Flash animations in the world. I know this sounds drunk and bad, but thank you. Thank you, everybody who's ever written me a letter, even if you just said you hate the color scheme or just wanted to send me a picture of a roadkill squirrel. Literally, that was sometimes the only thing keeping me going. A lot of people have asked me why I do this every day. I don't have an answer for that yet. Ask me in another two years.

As an addendum, these are some of my favorite updates, for a variety of reasons. One from each month. I hope you enjoy them. I'll see you tomorrow, but be warned, I'm really wasted right now so tomorrow's update will probably suck.

05/26/99 - Trip Log
06/14/99 - Squirrel Week

07/12/99 - Portrait of the author
08/24/99 - Recycled - Jenny

09/07/99 - Deodorant With Tits
10/18/99 - Behind The Masks
11/09/99 - Hell
12/10/99 - Proudest Achievement

01/07/00 - Great Falls
02/21/00 - 14 Year Old Girl Week: Only Poetry Stops Rape
03/03/00 - Recycled - Runaway
04/19/00 - Las Vegas, A Sermon
05/30/00 - Male Model
06/07/00 - Once Again Drunken
07/21/00 - I Am The Stupidest Man Alive
08/09/00 - Vegas (Postscript)
09/06/00 - The Ghost Of Emptiness


01/22/01 - Coconut Bob, The Cat-Shaving Lunatic
02/23/01 - 14 Year Old Girl Bonus Episode: Sperm In The Socket
03/12/01 - Haiku
04/04/01 - Top Ten Things About The South
05/08/01 - Bridget